Day 248: Tamara and Cory

Today is Halloween, it also happens to be my two best friends' one year wedding anniversary. So I thought I'd write a little bit of a heartfelt post about them.

So, I met Tamara through a high school friend. I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight, though we ended up becoming much more connected through the magical powers of the internet. Now we're almost inseperable. Even when we aren't actually physically together, we're constantly texting each other or facebook raping each other. I couldn't ask for a better person to be my best friend. She's crazy. She gets all my humor. She loves me, even after I snap at her when I haven't slept enough in the past seven months. She's always there for me. I can always count on her to be by my side. She's beautiful. She's wonderful. She's fucking amazing. She's much more than just my best friend, she's my sister.

So naturally, I'd want the best for her.

I couldn't ask for anyone better for her than Cory. Cory is a gentleman. He's wonderful to her, he treats her exactly how she deserves, like a princess. He loves her so much, it'll honestly knock you back a step. Their love can be felt a mile away. Since I have met him, Cory has become much more than just my best friend's husband. He's more like a brother. A brother-in-law, I suppose. haha.

Their love is absolutely beautiful. And I just hope that someday, somehow, I can find a love like theirs. They are absolutely and completely my role models when it comes to relationships.

Tamara and Cory, I love you guys with basically every fiber of my being. I love you with all of my butt. That's a lot of love, because my ass is huuuuuuuuuge. I wish you many many many many many more years of happiness. You deserve it. :)

Day 247: "That's my goal in life now, I want to have sex on a conveyer belt in Walmart"

If you read about such a story in the paper, I did not detail exactly how I planned on doing this whilist in the car with Tamara. So, when you read such a story in the paper, it definitely isn't about me.

Day 246: You've got the talking down, just not the listening.

I really want to bitch today. Super bad. But, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I am pissed. But I hold things in. So that's exactly what I'm going to do today.

By the way, this snow thing in October? It's goddamn ridiculous

Day 245: Basilisk Tooth

I bought this today. I refer to it as a basilisk tooth necklace. I also wore it to work and stabbed random things with it, proclaiming them "horcruxes". Yes, I do have a boyfriend. Yes, this does still surprise me.

Day 244: Piss Yourself Quote Blog #1

These all come from "quote books" that I had made for an ex in the past. I recorded anything that I or anyone around me said that was funny pretty much everyday until I filled an entire notebook. These also come from notebooks that my friends and I passed back and forth between classes to talk to one another. It would be wisest if you read this whilist on the toilet. That's where I will be typing it.

"The class meeting was exactly like I said it would be:

• Don't have sex
• Don't kill people
• Don't smoke weed in the bathroom
• Don't look up porn online at school
• Don't drink alcohol
• Try not to come to school naked
• Try to wear clothing that covers all of your vaginal and ass-like area
• Don't text in class
• Don't snort cocaine on school grounds, anywhere else is fine
• Be good kids. Or we'll kill you

We covered all the major topics"

"There's a creeper in the hallway, no one knows who he is and he's just standing there."

Erin: My dick is so big that I have to wrap it around my waist. Twice.

Erin: Who is she talking to?
Pumpkin: I don't know, just smile and nod.

Jenny: Erin appreciates any food you give her.
Erin: I appreciate anything you give me to put in my mouth.

Katie: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Erin: A dress point.

Erin: Ryne, Why are you so tall?
Ryne: I eat small children.

Jordan: Why were you doing math on your hand?
Erin: I was trying to figure out how much my fat ass would have to pay for all this food.

Erin: How about you do your job?
Ryne: Shut up, Frodo.

Bob: If I have to sew shut one more orifice, I'm going to scream.

Erin: *absentmindedly humping the counter whilist making sex noises*
Dylan: There's something wrong with you.
Tim: This is why we can't have nice things.

Erin: Well maybe if you had studied instead of engaging in homosexual activities last night.

Cameron: I'm hellish pumped. I'm going to scream my ass off.

Mike: A true friend joins your match, shoots you in the head, and quits.

Erin: Your energy is frightening me. And now you're trying to pull my clothes off.

Jon: I'm picking up my dick, slinging it over my shoulder and saying goodbye to her.

Erin: If she died, I'd come to her funeral just to pee on her.

"Cameron was jumping up to throw a ball at someone and got hit in the stomach. His way of venting about it was to walk as slowly as possible to the other side of the room while screaming as loudly as he could"

"When John gets excited, he screams "WHOA" for about five minutes straight. Sex with him would probably be frightening"

"Let's open on this scene: Cody is laying on the floor. Blake scampers up behind him, spikes a ball into his head and runs off giggling."

Erin: When I die, my family can invite people over and throw me in a bonfire.

*someone turns the lights on*
Random kid: TURN THEM OFF! SHE'S UGLY!

Ryan: What are you reading?
Erin: A book.
Ryan: You're impossible.

Day 243: Rainymood.com

This is officially my new favorite site. All it does is play the sound of rain in the background. That's it. But, do you know how relaxing that sound is? I have tons of cds with ocean sounds in the background of music. Also, this site, when you play another song on top of it? Enhances that song like four hundred million times. It's almost as if it knows exactly when to add a clap of thunder and etc. It's awesome. Just throwing that out there.

Day 242: I miss Dorian and Ben.

Notice how Dorian came first.