Day 125: Titties

So today I want to ask a serious question about girls and their boobies. Like, how comfortable is too comfortable with your friends? I have friends who have no problem getting completely naked with me in front of them and others who have to go into the bathroom just to take off their shirt. I don't really know my comfort level with nakedness. I can't get naked in front of anyone but the hubby, but I don't mind like changing in front of my friends. I have no problem stripping down to my underwear around my girl friends but if I have to go and take my bra off, I won't do it in front of my friends. I'm such a weirdo about that..

Day 124: Transformers with the hubbs.

So tonight me and the fiancee went to see Transformers and it was pretty stinken epic. I loooovvveee the autobots. So of course, Max's only complaint? "It would have been better with Meghan Fox."

I hate Celebrity Women. So much. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to feel sexy when he makes comments about fucking Meghan Fox and Jessica Biel? And then he's like "I come home to you don't I?" yeah, well even so, that doesn't give me any self confidence. I don't care how many fucking times he calls me beautiful, as soon as he starts talking about how hot some other girl is, I immediately feel like shit. I'm a chubby, freckle covered ginger. How the hell am I supposed feel sexy when being compared to Meghan Fox? She's like sex personified.

Anyway, I know he thinks I'm beautiful, and he does come home to me every night but the point is, I really dislike the fact that he even points out that he thinks other women are hot.

Day 123:WHY THE FUCK ARE WE DRIVING ALL THE WAY TO WAWA FOR YOU TO TAKE A PISS?

So as you can tell I have the misfortune to be back in hohum PA. Which means, yes, I was stuck in a car with Max for another thirteen hours straight. Fortunately, I brought a book and avoided any argument by ignoring his existance for the majority of the car ride. I have nothing to report other than I have to go get a shower because being in Max's car without an AFUCKINGC for thirteen hours has made me smelly and gross and YEAH.

Day 122: A collection of Epic quotes for today's post

Erin: *watching a couple kiss in a movie.* "oh! He's giving her the tongue. OH NO. HE'S GIVING HER THE PENIS"

*Max leans over to kiss me* "SHUT UP"

"hello this is dominoes. Did you order the chalupa?" <<< We definitely weren't drunk at all.

"we need to get off on exit 47"
"you need to shut the fuck up and drive"

Max: I'm a good boyfriend.
Erin: *appalled* NO YOU'RE NOT.
Max: *chokes on coffee*

*Max begins singing "Bleeding Love"*
Erin's reaction: OH MY GAWD.

Erin: "NO WAY. KENNY CHESNEY STARS IN KENNY CHESNEY'S COASTAL TOUR? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE."
Max: I thought for sure it would be Aerosmith.

Max: LOOK! A MCDONALDS! I CAN TAKE A SHIT!!!!

Erin:*exhales loudly* ......SHIT. I just had to get that out there.

Erin: I DON'T WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THIRTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT WITH YOU EVER AGAIN.

Erin: *with a TERRIBLE spanish accent* Here at La Quinta we have the chalupas y the burritos y the chihuahuas with the hot sauce.

Max: do we turn here?
Erin: WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME? WHAT THE FUCK DO I LOOK LIKE? A DAMN GPS?
Max:.....YES.

Erin: You have less than I do.
Max: That's because you're a girl.
Erin: Yeah, well, so are you.

Max: I can't remember the name of this movie.
Erin: Hey Max?
Max: What?
Erin: What's the name of this movie?

Day 121: Beach Trip and Mini Golfing

We went to the beach tonight but we weren't really out there long. I used Max's boogie board as a chair and enjoyed myself sitting in the water and getting sand in my ass. It was fun. We then went mini golfing. The place played really weird music but other than that, it was alot of fun. I sucked at it. I have never actually been mini golfing before. There were some funny signs, here are just a few.

That helps.

I appreciate your celebration in my living.

Day 120: Today we didn't feel like doing anything

Today was our lazy day, we just laid in bed and went down to the pool. We also went to this super super super shitty buffet. It was horrible. We both got the shits. Now I have officially over shared with you. I HAD CALIMARI for the first time, that was probably the only thing that I enjoyed there.

Day 119: Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

So we went to the beach today, I actually went out deeper than usual with Max because a few years ago, my sister and I almost drowned so I'm a little uneasy about going out into the ocean but Max had loosened me up about it the day prior so I was having fun going out deeper with him.

WELL, A STUPID JELLYFISH DECIDED THAT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN, and stung the shit out of me while I was having fun. I cried. :(

Doesn't that look like so much damn fun?

Well, after that, Max took me to get icecream to make me feel better like I'm a toddler who can be bribed. (it worked). We walked around for a little while until I stopped bitching about my arm and had spent fifty dollars in just one shop.

We went back to the beach but the tide had stinken changed so we ended up having to walk like three miles on nothing but broken shell. IT HURT. And the waves were so rough (like rougher than your mother in the bedroom) and they kept knocking me onto these stinken shells. And Max too. SOOOOO, we go to wash the sand off of ourselves, and Max points out that I'm bleeding. Like a lot on my leg. WHAT. THE. POOP.

It was a bad day. 

Day 118: First injury sustained

So tonight we went out to Margaritaville to eat. Well, that didn't work because they wanted us to wait for two freaking hours to eat. IN THE HEAT. So instead we went to Joe's Crab Shack. And the food was pretty damn good. Max got two alcoholic beverages so we had to go to the Aquarium afterwards because someone had too much alcohol to drive. Ripley's aquarium was pretty neat. I touched a horseshoe crabby and a stingray. And one of the guys in the food court hit on me. haha

Day 117: The longest thirteen hours of my life.

So today we left for the beach. It was the longest car ride of my life. Not to mention we left late at night, so we were both grumpy. So for the majority of the trip we were at each others throats. I cannot deny that I didn't fantasize about murdering him. I'm sure he wanted to kill me too. In the end though it was worth it. There were only like a zillion hilarious quotes we got from it all and so much more. I would share them with you but I'm too tired to right now. Check facebook. they are all there.

Day 116: Oh my lanta!!!!!

It's only one day until the beach trip. So I'm putting shit off until tomorrow because I know I'm going to be so excited that the day will take forever unless I have something to do. So yeah. I also finally bought a damn memory card for my camera that I got two years ago. Yeah. That's how often I use my camera.

Day 115: What my day looks like

So since I couldn't think of anything else to write about what my day is like. I'll talk specifically about today. So I woke up at like 10:45 because I had to check to see if my uniform was clean. And I'm not a morning person. I took a picture for you.

Yup, that's what a morning looks like with Erin Howie. Yeah, Max still kisses that face. So I went downstairs to check on my uniform. It was already washed and dried so I came back upstairs and made love to my pillow.

Then I woke up again because I had to go to a stinken training at work. It was diversity training and we basically just learned not to call black people the "n" word, which I never do anyhow. And there wasn't even good food. NO GOOD FOOD= "WHY THE HELL DID I WAKE UP FOR THIS?" I only go anywhere if I know I'm going to be fed. They usually have like pastries and chocolate dipped fruit at training, so I don't bitch too much about going. All they had today? FUCKING 100 CALORIE CHIP BAGS. I want my chips to atleast have 592382931928474914827489248142891999 calories EACH. So I was pissed.

Then afterwards, I had to ACTUALLY WORK. And it was dead. And boring. And going in the bathroom and staring at myself naked in the mirror for two hours would have been more productive, which is probably what I would have been doing if I hadn't been working.

Got off work early because they realized that having four of us in one venue on a stinken Tuesday night was ridiculous. I came home, immediately changed into pajamas and demanded that my mother feed me. She wasn't home though, and I don't trust my father's cooking because he's a man. And the only men that I know that can actually cook are the cooks at Hollywood Casino, my brother-in-law and Max. And my brother-in-law can cook like a motha fucka. His cooking is DAMN GOOD. One day when I'm rich and damn famous, I'mma hire him as my personal cook. Just mine. Max and my kids can eat sandwiches. He'll do it too. Because I'll pay him five trillion dollars an hour for it.

ANYWAY, so I went into my room and facebooked. Then my mom made food. Then I ate. Then I watched NCIS. Then I facebooked some more. Then I youtubed. Then I facebooked. Then I took a pee. Then i facebooked. Then I did this.

I DON'T HAVE A PRODUCTIVE LIFE.

Day 114: MY NOSE HURTS

So nothing, absolutely nothing eventful happened today. I woke up and was pissed and went to work.

Day 113: TOTALLY NOT EXCITED

About working 9:30 p.m to 630 am tonight into tomorrow. Especially since I only had five hours of sleep last night and I have still yet to get everything packed for the beach trip. I have some personal primping things I need to do yet. Like paint my toenails. And Nair all the hair off my body so I don't look like Bigfoot in a bikini. And a whole bunch of other shit.

Day 112: Called Security today

It was fun. It's always fun when someone gets out of line to scream that they want their food free and that you are taking too long and then starts to make remarks about your body. Saying you have an ass like beyonce but the rest of you sucks and you have a face only a mother could love.

Day 111: I HATE PACKING

And of course I am doing all the packing for the beach trip because Max is a man and I'm OCD and everything has a place that it has to go in. AND I DON'T NEED ANY BULLSHIT, so I decided to pack. I am already pissed at myself, the suitcase, the towels and the sunscreen. The towels are too big and now I don't know whether I should take them out of the bag or just leave them in the bag and use another bag for whatever I can't fit in my camo bag and the sunscreen I'm indecisive on where to put it. I'm also indecisive on how many outfits I should pack. And I'm pissed because I can't find all of my sexy panties. AND I NEED MY SEXY PANTIES. I'm only missing one pair, and it's one of the blue ones. AND THAT'S MAX'S FAVORITE COLOR. And I keep thinking I'm forgetting something and I need to make some cds. and I need to do a whole bunch of other prep work. And I need to figure out what shoes I'm taking and I need to get my nails done. I HAVE TO BE PRETTY FOR MAX. DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO BE PRETTY FOR YOUR FIANCEE??? VERY. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. And I need to take Makeup. And I need to decide how the hell I'm packing my laptop because I don't have a stinking case for it because I'm broke all the damn time. I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO DO.


When I move out, that day is going to suck. ass.

Day 110: Zumba

Tonight I am going to Zumba with Kate. I am probably going to embarass myself and everyone around me but I'm okay with this. I'm sure it will be alot of fun. Tomorrow I have to work and then on Saturday I have to watch the baby. It's only a week away from our beach trip and I'm pretty stinken pumped. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to try and convince Max to let me visit my family a bit since I won't be when my mom goes down. I am staying at home to watch Lucy.

Day 109: Having Custody arguments with your friends

So tonight I had to work and it was the most boring night ever. There were half hour periods where I had NO CUSTOMERS. I cleaned everything that could be cleaned and had nothing to do. I still made a shitton in tips. Other than that nothing exciting happened. I'm going shopping with Kate and her mother tomorrow so that their house will be food stocked so that I can eat while I house/dog/cat/garden sit for them while they are on vacation.

Day 108: How romantic Maxwell is.

This was taken from a facebook conversation in which I was discussing how romantic Max is.

"He is SUCH a romantic. You know how romantic it is to have a crotch shoved at you everytime you make a remark that could even REMOTELY be turned sexual? SO ROMANTIC. I fall more in love with him EVERY. TIME. OH THAT'S NOT EVEN THE END OF IT, Max smacks my ass IN PUBLIC. All the time. It's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I swear."

Max seriously a god of romance.

He isn't as bad as I make him out to be. He still holds doors for me and carries all my shit when we go shopping. He always reminds me that I'm beautiful and tells me he loves me five million times a day. He's for the MOST part a gentleman.

Day 107: Grocery shopping with Max is like grocery shopping with a cranky three year old

So we went grocery shopping yesterday for our beach trip and Max is impossible. He gets grumpy about everything. He has no patience. And he's confusing. I would rather grocery shop with Brendan. Brendan just sits there and occasional points at things and shouts the name of it. Max grumbles and gets mad when I giggle because he thinks I'm laughing at him while he's trying on flipflops.

Day 106: Sweet old men

So tonight a guy came up to me at Extras and asked me to make him a very specific coffee. So I did exactly that. He came back an hour later and handed me a five dollar bill because I made his "lucky" drink. And he hit it big on a a slot machine. This makes my job worthwhile. :)

Day 105: Show me a reason, a thing to believe in.

So as much as I would LOVE to air my personal issues to you and have everyone and their half cousin twice removed try to get "involved" and make everything worse, I will simply state that I am pretty positive that I have sunk into a depression because of things that have recently happened to me. I am sorry if I have retreated from you.

Day 104: Farmer's Market and a shitload of books.

So Kate and her mom introduced me to the Farmer's Market for the first time in my life and I about peed myself. I ran around like a kid in the candy store using the phrase "HOLY SHIT" often. Kate also gave me like three hundred books and I was so happy, I about peed myself. Okay. I did pee.

Day 103: KATE SLEEPOVERSSSS

Are amazing. Especially when we bought like three hundred pounds of unhealthy SUGARFILLED TREATS. And her mom's only rule was that we don't throw up on her carpet. I finally got to see Due Date and it was pretty much freaking awesome. I also saw Little Fockers and The Tourist. The Tourist is pretty predictable so I'm not sure whether or not I liked it. But I had fun. I always have fun at Kate's house.

Day 102: OFFICIALLY TWO WEEKS TO THE BEACH

So I don't have much to report. I had an uneventful day, I worked and no one was a jerk, nothing bad happened. I had a long talk about bras with one of our cooks.

Day 101: Decision Making Skills, We have them.

So it's officially FIFTEEN FUCKING DAYS until I go to the beach with Max. It will be our first real trip together. We have never left the state together and never spent more than 24 hours with one another. We are spending six days at Myrtle Beach because it's my favorite beach and I love the Carolinas because it's where I grew up. So we get to try our hand at what's kinda sorta like living with each other. We don't have to worry about chores or who takes out the trash but we will have to see each other when we wake up and have to make stupid decisions together. We already sort of make decisions together... like...what movie we want to watch:

Max: what do you want to watch?
Erin: I don't care.
Max: We have Eurotrip. Wanna watch that?
Erin: I don't care.

or where we want to eat when we go out:

Erin: What are you in the mood for?
Max: I don't know. What are you in the mood for?
Erin: I asked you.

See? AMAZING AMAZING Decision making skills. Communication is awesome too.

Erin: *ranting and raving for the past hour* I don't know, What do you think?
Max: What? oh. Yeah, baby, that sucks.
Erin: ......

Day 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woop! Woop! So we're kinda a third of the way there. I can't believe it's been this long. So as far as what I did today, it was so jam packed that I'm not sure I can even fit it all into a blog. Here is a bulleted list:

• Sleep
• Ate
• Watched TV with my mom
• Ate again
• Watched TV on my laptop
• Facebooked

Don't get so damn excited. I know it was alot to take in.

Day 99: This is why I don't tell anyone about my problems.

Don't you hate when you just feel the need to vent about something and you tell someone and instead of just listening/smiling and nodding they feel the need to "get involved" and try and "fix it" and end up just making you look worse and the situation more impossible than it needed to be and when you get pissed, they turn it around like you're the bad person in the situation?

Yeah, I do too.

Next person that fucking says "If you and Max are really getting married" by the way, is getting killed. I'm sick and fucking tired of that bullshit. We are getting married, if you have a problem with that I'll be sure to not invite you to the wedding. Wouldn't want any objections.

Day 98: Quotes from an Epic Ranting

"Then she asked me what was on the turtle cheesecake. What the FUCK does it look like is on it? Chocolate, pecans and some GOD DAMN CARAMELS."

"She asked me for two hot dogs and I was trying to deal with the two dumb bitches who just took half a fucking hour of my fucking time to drag me all over the fucking place and got like forty fucking million things so I got her the hot dogs and then she's like "Can I have two things of onions?" and I'm like OHMYGAWD, fine. And got her the freaking onions. And then she was like "Can I have some relish packets and mustard?" THERE IS FUCKING RELISH AND MUSTARD RIGHT THERE. but I got it for her anyway and then she was like "Can I have a plate?" And I was like OH MY FUCKING GOD."

"I swear to god if anyone fucking asks me what's in a fucking Tandy Cake ever again, I'm going to punch them in the damn face."
Max: "What's in a tandycake?"
"Are you fucking serious right now?"

Day 97: I love deep conversations in the car

We (read "me and hubby") went to the races tonight with Brendan and on the way home we discussed what we want to do when it comes to the wedding. Max basically doesn't care whether we wait and save up to have the wedding or if we just go and sign the papers. BUT he has one condition, we have to live together for two months before we decide if marriage is totally what we want to do. I think this is reasonable. What if we live together and can't stand each other after two weeks? I don't anticipate this happening but I think it's a good idea to test each other out first.

Day 96: Sometimes it's too much fun to be considered a job.

So tonight I worked 1 to 9 at the casino and since it's a thursday it wasn't busy at all. I worked with Shaunee and she is an absolute riot. All of the people I work have a sense of humor and when it's slow like it was today it's kind of nice to be surrounded by funny people. The cooks all have a sense of humor, most of the counter attendants do as well. Rodger and Kolt are my favorite cooks. They are hilarious. Rodger almost ran me over with a cart tonight and he now calls me "Squish" because he used to always call me "Erin Go Bragh" ("Ireland Forever" in Irish) then he said that I won't go "bragh" any more, I'll go "squish" so he calls me squish. haha.

Day 95: Long Night. Too Much Stress

There's a reason that I have lost so much weight, stress. No, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm done talking because it hasn't gotten me anywhere. You aren't listening.