Day 279: Room by Emma Donoghue

Ok, I'm entitled to my opinions and I'd just like to say that I hated this "New York Times Best Seller" book. It's not that it was horribly written, it's just that the little boy in it that narrates the entire story did nothing but piss me off for basically the entire book.

To give you a little insight without destroying the book for you, the book is about a woman who was abducted when she was about nineteen and then kept in a shed that her kidnapper turned into a sort of apartment that was her prison. She later gets pregnant and gives birth to the narrator, Jack, right there in the shed. When the book starts out, Jack is five and he tells everything from his eyes. Now, have you ever heard a fucking five year old talk? They don't make a damn bit of sense as is. This entire fucking book is written from a five year old who's been raised in a SHED's perspective. Later on, his mother devises an escape plan and it works and they are rescued and put into a sort of mental hospital.

The reason I hated this book is because Jack never wanted to leave "Room" and hates the outside world and never respects really anything his mother says to him. He's a pain in the ass, he's clingy and he's just downright stupid.

The whole story is told from that damn child's perspective.

This is why I hated this story.

Day 278: NO CUSTOMERS WERE SHITTY TODAY!!!!

It's a miracle! There's always a shitty customer! Not today!!! I even worked with my favorite people. I never get to work with Lauren, but when we do work together, we're crazy. I love her. SO MUCH. It's more an experience, I can't just tell you how we are, because it's more something you have to be there and witness, but trust me, once you've seen it your life will never ever be the same again.

Day 277: If I ever become a dark lord...

I never want to go back to work after I've had off of work for more than two days. It kills me. It feels like I live there most of the time anyhow, so when I finally get away from it for awhile, it feels like I'm splitting my soul in two. So, if I ever become a dark lord, you HAVE to destroy Hollywood Casino because I've definitely made it into a Horcrux. When you do so, please do it with precision. You don't want a single thing inside that place still standing you know.

Ohhhh I'm so funny.

Day 276: Wrapping Paper and ribbon

So if you're anything like me you blow at wrapping presents. I usually just shove everything into a gift bag and then stuff tissue paper in on top of it all so that I don't have to deal with it. But for Christmas time, to make it look like I really bought you more than I did, I will wrap everything individually. Now, I don't completely get the purpose of having to make a present look absolutely beautiful when you wrap it. The wrapping paper is just going to get ripped to shreds anyway, so what does it matter if just a little bit of the paper isn't perfect? I was wrapping gifts tonight out in our living room and my mom was breathing down my neck about how I wasn't wrapping everything with precision excellence. It's like seriously, dude? Who gives a shit? It's going to be wrapped for about .00000000000000003 seconds after I present it to the person. It's not like a painting. IT'S WRAPPING PAPER.

Day 275: I'll roll again. I always do.

So, I didn't mention this but I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I don't really want to say much about it. I even hid my relationship status so that no one would throw a big shit about it and pity me and blame him or whatever. It's really not that big deal and this is nowhere I haven't been before. I can be single. I've done it before. I do not need a man to complete me. Though the one that will will come along, I'm sure. You really just have to quit looking. And make them come to you. It's okay. I'm okay. He's okay. We're all okay.

Day 274: Things I am thankful for

Since today is Thanksgiving I would like to list the things that I am thankful for:

• I am thankful for the assload of friends I have. There are many that I honestly can say that I probably wouldn't be alive without. Ones that made me quit things that I shouldn't have been doing in the first place. Ones that convinced me that I was worth something. Ones that convinced me that they needed me when I felt like my life was worth nothing.
• For my family
• For the men who did the horrible things they did to me. For the failed relationships. For every person who ever called me stupid, ugly, fat, or a bitch. Because in the end, all of you made me stronger. All of you made me better.
• For a pen and paper always being close by. :)
• I am thankful for love
• For laughter
• For smiles
• For harmless flirtation from certain employees and customers at the casino. They always seemed to do this whenever I was having a shit day and made me smile.
• For Michael Crichton.
• For Pillowpets
• For the internet
• For change
• The men and women who serve our country
• Cancer Research
• Long hugs
• My stupid ass dog
• Blankets
• For everything

Day 273: Look out for tomorrow's blog.

I will list all that I am thankful for. Today I don't have much to say to you.

Day 272: EXCUSE ME? BUT HOW HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF THAT?

Tonight I worked. NO FUCKING WAY DUDE RIGHT? Anyway, I was describing my mommy's turkeyday habits to a customer and he'd seriously never heard of stuffing mixed with mashed potatoes. What the fudgecake. SERIOUSLY.

Day 271: Illuminated

So I decided to pick up one of my old stories and begin writing/rewriting it again. It had six chapters completed but I hadn't got to the good shit yet. So I have exciting new and improved plans for it and Tamara has agreed to be my beta (basically, reads it before anyone else does and offers helpful critique and advice). YAY stories. I plan to have it finished by January. So keep in touch for more exciting story news.

Day 270: QUIT FUCKING TEXTING ME BEFORE THREE.

I have told people multiple times before not to fucking text me before three because I work a crazy ass schedule at the casino and I need to fucking sleep. I have to keep my volume up on my phone because it is my alarm clock. Unless I texted you relevantly close to when you decide to text me back don't text me before three. I'm a light as fuck sleeper. It seems like every fucking morning I have to politely tell someone to shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone. Unless you're dying, you're giving birth or you just realized you're pregnant, there is no fucking reason to text me before three. Whatever it is, it can fucking wait until after three if it is not classified as any of those things.

Day 269: One time, it's an accident. Two times, It's a mistake. Three times and up, it's deliberate.

So, I'm scheduled to work eleven at night til seven a.m in the morning and then I'm scheduled to come back in at three. Are you fucking kidding me? They tell me that its accidental but they have done this to me multiple times before and then when I consulted them last time I got my ass chewed out. So I guess it's just grin and bear it and deal with it. Ughh... I'm going to be so dead tomorrow.

Day 268: Would you like burnt toast with your burnt omelet, sir?

God, I hate my job.

Day 267: PA blows.

I'm sorry but I have been here for nine years and I hate it. I don't know if it's because of personal reasons or if it's just a shit place. I'm at my wits end though.

Day 266: Do you just want me to bend over so you can fuck me in the ass now?

*DISFUCKINGCLAIMER: THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ANYONE IMPARTICULAR, BUT ABOUT A BUNCH OF THINGS AT ONCE. IF YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE THIS BLOG PERSONALLY FOR SOME STUPID REASON, THEN I CHOOSE TO DELETE YOU FROM MY FRIENDS LIST/BLOCK YOU FROM MY PHONE/CUT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE. I SIMPLY NEED TO BITCH. I WILL NOT SLANDER ANYONE OR MENTION NAMES. I'M PISSED RIGHT NOW. OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T MAKE AN ENTIRELY SANE DECISION, IF I MENTIONED EVERYONE BY NAME THAT I'M PISSED AT, I COULD GET INTO A LOT OF FUCKING TROUBLE. I'M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT SO I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO THAT. SO TAKING THIS PERSONALLY JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASSHAT, SINCE I AM NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT FUCKING NOT, GOING TO MENTION ANY NAMES NOW, TOMORROW, TOMORROW'S FUCKING TOMORROW OR EVER FOR THAT FUCKING MATTER. TRUST ME, IF YOU WRONGED ME THEN YOU'LL FUCKING KNOW IT. THAT BEING FUCKING SAID, I'M GOING TO FUCKING GET BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED FUCKING BLOG *
This is seriously how I feel after tonight. Oh my god. I am sick of having to deal with adults who act like elementary school CHILDREN. Seriously? Can't you all just put your big girl/boy panties on and deal with yourselves? What the fuck, dude seriously? I'm like ONE MORE PERSON FUCKING ME OVER from packing up all my shit and leaving this state in the middle of the damn night. This is not a fucking joke, seriously, people need to start treating me better or I'm done. I'm seriously fucking done. Because I've been fucking around with making the fucking decision whether or not I want to fucking stay here or leave this god fucking forsaken state enfuckingtirely and go back to the damn place I grew up in. North Carolina. Now, I've always always ALWAYS fucking hated Pennsylvania. It's cold. It's full of asshats. And you get looked at weird for waving at people and no one respects anyone whatsoever.

*DISFUCKINGCLAIMER#2: I AM ENFUCKINGTITLED TO MY OWN FUCKING OPINION ABOUT THIS FUCKING STATE. IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH IT, THEN YOU SHOULD REREAD THE FUCKING CONSTIFUCKINGTUTION. I HAVE A RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF FUCKING SPEECH. ITS MY FUCKING OPINION. I'M FUCKING ENTITLED TO IT.*

This place harbors all of my nightmarish memories. Nothing fucking started getting shitty until after I fucking moved here. So perhaps my opinion is harsher than it needs to be. But despite my amazing friends, I hate everything about PA. I hate the weather. I hate the school system. I hate the prices. I hate it here. I always have. I love the people here, I hate the god forfuckingsaken state.

But I stay because
1.) I had no choice because I was underage and there was no way I was getting emanicipated.
2.) Once I turned eighteen, other shit was going on that kept me here, i.e a fiancee with a child in this state.

Now, I'm nineteen, and yes, I have a boyfriend here. I have friends here. And the people I love too much to leave, people I can guarantee you I can't survive without, they reside in this fucking shitbin.

But with the shit I've been putting up with for the like past fucking four months, I can't fucking do it any more. I'm sick of it. And shit needs to change. Now. Right fucking now.

Day 265: KRISPY KREME FUCKS SHALL NOT BE GIVEN

I'm seriously through with all this bullshit. I have been taking it and taking it and taking it AND FUCKING GODDAMN TAKING IT. And I'm done. I don't give a fucking fuck anymore about keeping everything calm and fine and dandy. I'm done caring about needing to keep everything on the down low. Everything is not fine. And this is not okay. This is bull shit. BULL FUCKING SHIT.

I asked off for Black friday six goddamn months ago. Six fucking months ago. It was fucking approved. I come into see what the fuck I'm working on Thanksgiving so I can tell my mother when we can leave for Black Friday. Instead, I see that I'm scheduled to work midnight to fucking eight a.m. And the person who scheduled me, CLAIMS that she didn't know why I asked off and couldn't change it now.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE ASK OFF FOR BLACK FRIDAY SIX MONTHS IN ADVANCE IF THEY WEREN'T GOING TO FUCKING SHOP? What was I supposed to be planning six months in advance? OH WHOOPIE DI FUCKING DO. I DECIDED THAT SIX MONTHS FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO SCRATCH MY ASS ALL DAMN DAY INSTEAD OF WORK.

And then when I tried to get my "best friend" to switch with me. Someone that I always defend when people talk shit about them. Someone that I can always trust to be there for me. They turn me away.

Don't you dare ask me to scratch your back if you don't want to return the fucking favor.

I'm fucking done.

Day 264: When you put up a new story and don't tell anyone about it.

And you still get reviews and favoriters? That's the best feeling ever.

Day 263: Twitter/Tumblr/Blogger, we're all working towards one goal

To build a fanbase so you don't have to fear failure when you publish

Day 262: BLACK FRIDAY ADS

So, I'm pretty pumped for black friday shopping. It's a tradition of my family. Well, atleast it's a mom, sister and I tradition. We go every year. And we are hard core shoppers. We leave at eleven p.m. We don't sleep. We stay out until five p.m the next day. Last year, my sister and I slept in the suburban whilist waiting for my mom and her friend to get out of best buy. They were in like a two hour long line to get my laptop that I got for christmas last year. But we stay out until none of us has a damn penny left to our name. My mother will even lend both of us money once we run out just so that she can stay out a little longer. SHIT GETS INTENSE.

Day 261: I really could use these next four days off.

So waaaaaaaay back in June I put off to have off this weekend because it was my ex fiancee's birthday and I had big plans to celebrate the fact that he was going to be an old man, but since we're obviously no longer dating I just have off with no plans but fuck Hollywood. I refuse to tell them I can work. I have had my fill of Hollywood for a little while.

Day 260: Veteran's Day

Today we celebrate the men and women who have served our country. The ones who have died, the ones who are still living, the ones who are still serving, the ones who have served, all of them. My boyfriend happens to be one of these people and I could never be prouder than I am of my veteran. Give thanks to our soldiers. Because they keep us safe.

Day 258: I choose to be happy even though the world will always suck

So, I love my job. It may not seem like it, but for the most part, I get excited to go to work because I get to hang out and talk to all the amazing people I work with. I have fun. There's only a few people I don't get along with and even then, that can't keep me from the casino. I have never liked my job. It's always been something that I HAD to do, not something I wanted to do or enjoyed. And really, if you are devoting five days a week, eight or more hours a day to an employer, you really ought to enjoy being there. This is the first place, where something better came along and I've actually delayed leaving and even considering trying to make two jobs work now because I really love it there.

Day 257: Got muh health insurance today

Pretty sweet. Can actually go to the damn doctor for shit now.

Day 256: A Nerd Blog

Okay, I'm sorry. But I have an obsessive love for Harry Potter. You're talking to someone who draws in quite the crowd with her fanfiction. Being a Harry Potter Lover, it's like a cult. But we all don't drink cyonide after the last movie. We all have our "houses" and we all ship who we want to ship. I don't care if you ship a noncannon couple, but there is absolutely no need to bash the hell out of the other characters. This blog was borught to you by a bunch of idiots who ship Harry with Hermione. Okay, I don't care. Ship them together. But there is no reason to bash Ron and Ginny. ESPECIALLY NOT GINNY. I don't like it when people mess with my gingers. WE GINGERS HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER. There's no need to be an ass about the other characters. Ginny more than deserved Harry and Ron loved Hermione more than he needed to. They both were amazing THANK YOU VERY GODDAMN MUCH. Just because Dan and Bonnie had no chemistry in kiss scenes is not an insult to the characters.

Day 255: I find it extremely surprising when

adults act more like five year olds than teenagers.

Day 254: When shit goes down at work

It's between you and that person. There is no need to come in and blab "your side of the story" to anyone unless its a supervisor or manager. Lying gets you no friends in the first place.

Day 253: My Christmas Traditions

I send out about a hundred cards last year. I did this because I couldn't buy a gift for all of my friends and I didn't want anyone to feel left out. This year I am going to take a christmas card photo. I'm not sure though if it's gonna be me and the boo and Dorian or is it gonna be and the kitty. I don't know yet. I have to convince Benj to take the picture with me. I told him he didn't have to wear a stupid Christmas sweater hoping that would convince him.

Day 252: Christmas Cards, Creepy Movies, Bella's a stupid bitch.

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity Three with my little sister. Most of the movie is just waiting for shit to happen so it's definitely not worth it. I'm not even sure what the fuck happened in the end. It was just creepy. 'nuff said mother fucker.

Also, I got into a heated debate about how J.K Rowling is a much better author than Stephanie Meyer and I can't stand people who say that Twilight trumps Harry Potter. That is not true. At all. For one, Stephanie Meyer, though I enjoyed the Twilight series, was an extremely fucked up individual. HAVE YOU READ BREAKING DAWN? I about threw up during certain scenes of the book. And who is the master of suspense really? In Twilight they basically facefuck and are "head over heels in love" within the first two fucking chapters of the book. In Harry Potter, it took SEVEN GODDAMN BOOKS for Hermione and Ron to kiss. I was so goddamn happy for it to that I pissed everywhere. My bed, the floor, the walls, the cieling. EVERYWHERE. And I just don't even understand Bella, she could have been with Jacob who is warm, HOT AS FUCK, doesn't want to eat her at all times and could bang her without having to worry about killing her, and she chooses Edward, who's pale. Has no abs. Glitters like a goddamn fairy princess. And who's dick is like concrete. I'm pretty sure that's going to feel GREAT in your vagina. Dumb bitch.

If I were her, I would have fucked the hell out of Jacob. And had four million babies with him. I may have still gone back and saved Edward just because I don't want that weight on my mind that it was my fault he died. But afterwards, I would have told him to fuck off and purposely made out with Jacob in front of him. With my middle finger HIGH IN THE AIR. LIKE A BEAST.

Day 251: Erin Erin Erin Erin Erin Erin Erin Erin... SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME SLEEP

I hate people.

Day 250: Confronting someone when you're confused

I've really grown up in the last two years. I've changed so much. It's absolutely amazing. I'm not even at all the same person I was when I was 17.

Day 249: Could shit stop happening so fast? Please? Seriously?

So finally got a call from Sheetz today. Which presses me to get a place. Which presses me to get money. Which presses me to get sick because I'm broke. Because I have groceries to buy. A fucking family to help feed. Laundry that requires liquids and shit to get cleaned. NON EXISTANT furniture. MY HEAD HURTS. I'm stressed. As fuck.