Day 33: To Balance Out Yesterday's post:

A list of the things/people I love

Max
Brendan
Summer
Rowan
Hannie
Elijah
Eryn
Mindy
Tamara
Anna
Tracy
David
Hortencia
Samantha
Jessery
Emily
Stephanie
Stephery
Angelo
Alex
Angela
Amanda
Lyssa

And whole fuck ton more, only it would take me forever to type them all.

I love milkshakes

I love icecream

I love backrubs

I love puppies, kitties and any other cuddly furry creature.

I love playboy stuff.

I love Claires.

I love elephants.

I love playing video games even though I rarely do.

I love writing.

I love books.

I love food.

I love Cherry Coke.

I love the freshly shaved leg feeling.

I love tickle fights.

I love to smile.

I love to laugh.

I love to make others smile and laugh.

I love to talk.

I love glitter.

I love photography.

I love white gold.

I love when the birds chirp in the morning.

I love watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and knowing the answers to hard questions.

I love screaming at the people on t.v

I love blankets.

I love owning cool socks.

I love Cosmopolitan.

I love long rides.

I love going for walks.

I love throwing sticks in a stream.

I love the beach.

I love that my fiancee's eyes change color.

I love blue eyes.

I love our country's army/airforce/navy/marines.

I love the smell of a new book.

I love payday.

I love saying "I love you".

I love hugs.

I love acting like a lesbian with my best friends.

I love listening to Max's heartbeat.

I love how Max will let me struggle trying to open something for awhile before he'll come help me.

I love Avon.

I love Maurices.

I love music.

I love my ipod.

I love my laptop.

I love new clothes.

I love my clarinet.

I love my dog.

I love my family.

I love Max's family.

I love meeting new people.

I love learning new things.

I love being challenged.

I love blogging.

I love having new story ideas.

I love when I get in that "zone" when I'm writing.

I love when Brendan says my name.

I love when Brendan holds my hand.

I love when Brendan laughs.

I love when Max laughs.

I love when Max smiles.

I love Max's smell.

I love when Max holds my hand.

I love Walmart.

I love when I have money to spare.

I love gel pens.

I love facebook.

Day 32: I don't know what to talk about so...

Here's a list of the things I hate:
I hate bitches.

I hate ugly bitches especially.

I hate poptarts.

I hate stupid people.

I hate fat people who complain about being fat but then go eat their weight in ice cream.

I hate having my period and the only thing that we have in the house are those thick diaper like pads.

I hate chocolate ice cream.

I hate whores.

I hate ugly whores.

I hate ugly whores who think they can be bitches and people will still like them.

I hate when there isn't any cherry coke in the soda machine.

I hate when people have sex in a movie that you are watching with your parents.

I hate when I stub my toe.

I hate when people swear at me for swearing.

I hate that I don't have an appartment yet.

I hate that I'm bad at saving money.

I hate that I'm brain disabled when it comes to make up.

I hate cancer.

I hate racism.

I hate gay discrimination.

I hate that we all just can't be friends.

I hate the color orange.

I hate that my favorite shoes are becoming worn out.

I hate when adults behave like children.

I hate when my hair gets all knotty.

I hate that people kill people.

I hate that someone dies everyday.

I hate malpractice.

I hate misdiagnosis.

I hate needles.

I hate the smell of hospitals.

I hate the Good Samaritan Hospital.

I hate that I live in a country where it takes three rings for 911 to answer the phone.

I hate bad drivers.

I hate people who text and drive.

I hate bad parenting.

I hate teen moms that don't take care of their babies.

I hate that good teen mothers still get treated like crap just because people stereotype them as weed smoking drunkards.

I hate waiting.

I hate being apart from Max.

I hate spiders.

I hate that place I can't scratch on my back.

I hate that it always gets itchy.

I hate that I have so many things to hate.

Day 31: Prayers are answered!

MAX GOT THE JOB.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I am going to get out of this place.

Day 30: ONE LAST TIP

The most important of all actually. APOLOGIZE when you are wrong.

DAY 30: Billie Jean is not my lover

Erin's dating tips for whoever actually gives a fuck:

1. Don't cling, for the LOVE OF GOD.

2. Talk to each other, communicate, dipshit. If you are angry at him, fucking TELL HIM. and then tell him why. He can't figure out what the hell you want him not to do anymore if you don't tell him what he did wrong the first time. You have to realize, guys are stupid. And I'm not insulting them because they all know they're stupid. They can't figure out what they did wrong unless you tell them. Giving him the silent treatment gets you nowhere and just further pisses him off. TALK.

3. In regards to the above, never ever leave the room/go to bed/get off the phone angry. It'll kill you in the long run. It's better and healthier for you two to scream it out than for you to stomp off in opposite directions. Relationships are built on communication.

4. Realize that you are going to have fights and there are going to sometimes be bad ones. Every healthy couple yells at each other. It's proof you give a shit.

5. Don't talk about marriage. Unless he does first. It scares them away.

6. Try not to pop the "L" bomb too quickly. Another thing that frightens them.

7. Don't insult him. Try not to call him stupid when you're mad. Guys are more senisitive than women about these things. They just don't show it because they are supposed to be the strong, tearless, muscular things in the relationships. Stroke his ego. OFTEN. They love to hear that they are hot/sexy/sweet/handsome/nice/perfect just as much as you do. Also make sure you let him know how much you appreciate the little things he does as well.

8. Don't give him some horrible pet name that makes his manhood go into hiding in his b-hole. "Pookiesnookiefluffybearycake" is a GIANT NO NO. Now he wants to be your "baby", he wants to be "babe". And you are allowed to call him those in public. "honey" and any inside nicknames are alright to be calling him as well but better in a private setting. DON'T EMBARASS HIM in front of his friends. It's a very bad idea. And it'll piss him off something crazy.

9. Don't believe all the stupid fuck they put in Cosmo. The sex shit, yeah, that stuff you can trust. But don't take their advice on your relationship. If you go and flirt with another guy at a bar (or a school dance since a bunch of my followers are high schoolers) it's not going to make him "appreciate you more" its going to make him punch the guy in the face and call you a skank. that being said. DON'T FLIRT WITH OTHER GUYS. Remember that "stroking the ego" thing we talked about? Flirting with another guy is the exact OPPOSITE of that.

10. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever hold a grudge about anything. Especially stupid stuff (which if you have a good relationship, all of your fights are going to be about stupid shit.) don't bring up stuff from previous fights either.

11. Don't put yourself down. It's a total mood killer. Confidence is sexy. Now I'm not saying go around wearing shorts that barely cover your vagina and wear a pushup bra that makes your cleavage touch your chin. I'm saying don't insult yourself. But don't be like "I know, son." when he tells you he thinks you're pretty. Because that's not confidence that's bitchery.

12. Now, the physical aspect of a relationship is important too. Especially when we are speaking about the men. Now, I know there are hardcore christians out there who believe in abstinence and trust me I respect that. I'm still a virgin as well. With men though, they have to feel wanted. You have to kiss them often. I'm not telling you to jump in the sack with him but you have to have atleast some level of intimacy after awhile. It's a way of showing you love him. If you have the right person, he'll wait until you're married to have sex with you. He'll wait until you're ready but in the meantime, you should show him that you do think he's irresistable. I'm not giving you tips on how to do this because this entire paragraph made me feel awkward enough.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment. I promise I won't answer them.

Day 29: Dating a Diabetic teaches you...

This will not be a blog where I bitch about Maxwell. I have nothing to bitch about. But since I posted two really pathetic posts last two times I was here I decided to give you something with more content. Being with Max has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Maxwell will always be the best thing to ever happen to me. I plan on forever with this boy. Now whilist he's the sweetest thing in the entire world, he does have his bad moments. And usually these bad moments are triggered due to lack of proper insulin coverage.

Now I'm not an expert on the whole diabetes thing yet but I can tell you when Max's sugar is too high just by his behavior. He turns into a hot mess of grumpy aggravatedness. Dating a diabetic teaches you that you can't ever hold grudges, ever. Sometimes people act a certain way towards you because of outside reasons that are bothering them and you can't hold bad behavior as a mark against someone forever. If I held a grudge against Max everytime he snapped at me because of his sugar being high, our relationship would go nowhere and would probably have ended right here and now.

Dating Max has also taught me that you really have to get to know the one you are with. I know Max enough now to know that when he turns into a raging doucher, his sugar is high because that's not how Max really is. Max is a GIANT teddy bear. He may not look it and he probably won't act it when I'm not around, but you see that boy with me and that big pile of muscle just melts. He calls me beautiful all the time, gets things for me, rubs my back, gives me lots of hugs and kisses, and neverrrrrrr snaps at me. Unless I snap at him first, he never snaps at me without good reason to unless his sugar is wonky.

You also learn patience. You learn not to get mad because of one sentence thrown back at you with attitude. You learn to take a deep breath and talk yourself down from smacking him inside your head. You remind yourself that he's not usually like this.

My boyfriend is amazing and these are all lessons anyone needs to learn if they want a successful relationship. Among getting to really know your partener, patience and not holding a grudge, I will share in tomorrow's blog my tips for dating and trust me, I have the experience in what NOT to do when it comes to dating.

Day 28: The most heart rendering thing I have ever written.

I am going to go take a piss and go to bed.

Day 27: I managed to sprain my wrist at work

Awesome. Typing with only your left hand? SUCKS. That is all.

Day 26: Work tonight.

I have basically nothing to report. I have a boring life and you must too if you are bored enough to be following my unentertaining blog. I really hope that I am on dish or register tonight. Basically anything but pizza line. Pizza line isn't too bad a clean up though and I work until close. But I am not good at making pizzas quickly. I can make pizzas just not as quickly as all the other kids but they've been there since the place opened.

Day 25: The house ended up being a piece of glorified shit.

The pictures were overly glamorized. The pictures made the house look like it could be fixed up. In real life? There was cat shit and rat shit everywhere. The stairs to the basement were rotted. The door was half rotted, sinks were torn out of the wall. The refrigerator was laying on its side. Broken windows, glass everywhere. It was horrible. It was like a scene out of a potential buyer's nightmares. Better luck next time I suppose. :(

Day 24: A HOUSE. Mistrust. And Maxwell's Crazy Confession!

Max and I found a rent to own house on Craigslist and they called us back today! I would give you more information but I am the most untrusting person in the entire world. Like seriously, I have a very hard time trusting people. I don't even trust the members of my own household so I have a password set up on my laptop even though there's like -500% chance of anyone ever walking into my room to look at anything here, I still have the password on the laptop. I also don't ever leave my bag in those cubbies at the college in the bathrooms, even though I don't have anything that would at all be considered valuable to anyone other than like my Motrin, in case someone wanted to get high, other than that there's nothing the naked eye would consider valuable in my bag. But I always carry whatever current novel I am working on in my backpack. If someone stole my work, they could become a billionaire very quickly. I'm fucking brilliant.

And Maxwell's crazy confession: He has never heard the song "You Raise Me Up" HOW CRAZY IS THAT???!?!?!?! So I included my favorite version of it here in this blog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfwlj0gba_k

Day 23: I love getting yelled at.

For shit that the person has no right to yell at me about. You want to argue with me about how I spend my money when I spent the majority of it on my sister for her fucking birthday. Jesus. I may not like her all the time but when it fucking comes to somebody's birthday, I'm going to buy them something. And OH MY GOD, I bought a shirt and a necklace to go with it that was ON SALE. I haven't been shopping shopping since fucking BLACK FRIDAY. And I'm a female, our bodies start to deteriorate if we don't atleast go shopping every two months. So the fact that I haven't really shopped since fucking November, that's pretty damn good. THANK YOU. And jesusssssssssssssssssss if I actually buy something for myself for once, after giving you FORTY dollars and fucking feeding you? I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SPEND A WHOLE LOT ON MYSELF.
Let's see what I bought myself today:
Three pairs of socks for buy two get one free: 7.00 dollars
A shirt: 20.00
a necklace ON A CLEARANCE RACK: 5.00
food: 7.00
In total on myself I spent forty damn dollars, less than that actually because I was ROUNDING NUMBERS

On you I spent FORTY EIGHT

and on my sister for her FUCKING BIRTHDAY I spent about  SIXTY DOLLARS

I spent more on you than I did on myself and you're going to give me shit about how much I spent on myself for FIVE FUCKING things? SERIOUSLY?!!? That's total and complete bullshit. You may now BLOW me. I have earned the right to buy myself a DAMN SHIRT and some FUCKING socks considering everyone in this house buys EACH OTHER clothing all the time but NEVER anything for me. I am constantly LOSING SOCKS, so I bought another three pairs. What a crime. And excuseeeeeee me for wanting to look fucking pretty for my engagement shoot. I know that most parents buy their fucking kids new clothes for EVERY SCHOOL PICTURE DAY. And for my SENIOR PHOTOSHOOT, my mother bought me THREE NEW FUCKING OUTFITS. This is my ENGAGEMENT SHOOT, which is I THINK alot FUCKING bigger than my senior shoot and I only bought ONE. DAMN. SHIRT. And a FUCKING. NECKLACE FOR FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS.

And what did I do when I got to the bank to cash that fucking check? I PUT FIFTY DOLLARS INTO MY FUCKING SAVINGS ACCOUNT.

Day 22: Five dollars and a Sandwhich

I made forty dollars today in tips. It was pretty damn sweet. I bought Max a buffalo chicken pizza for his lunch. I take good care of my fiancee. I don't have much else to report except that I'm going to go take a damn nap because I'm tired as fuck and I have very interesting plans tomorrow! I'm also going to gather a few girlies to take dress looking one of the days. I really want to look at dresses but I'm terrefied of being too fat. I'm such a woman.

Day 21: Poker in comparison to life.

Poker is alot like life. You find out whether or not you truly do know the people you are closest too by finding out whether or not you can call their bluffing. You have to figure out what risks are too big to take and when it is necessary to throw yourself off a cliff. Also, when the odds are stacked against you, if you're smart and you play your cards right, you can turn the entire table around in one little raise of your eyebrows. People will decieve you no matter what or who they may be and sometimes a little white lie can be your saving grace. It's not always an easy game to play, but everyone can win it. It's all about choices and how you make them.

Day 20: Fatigue Sucks the Big One.

I have been weaker than shit lately.I had to go home early from work because I threw up. :( I have alot of the symptoms for a very very bad disease. I hope everything straightens itself out because I cannot afford to have a disease right now. There are so many things I have yet to do in life:

• Have sex
• Make a bunch of babies
• Become a published author
• Have a three some
• drugs (just kidding)
• get drunk (not kidding)
• Get a license
• Go to Ireland
• Get a few tattoos.
• Raise my babies.
• Have my own appartment

:( Pray for me, if you do.

Day 19: PAYDAY IS NEXT THURSDAY

I thoroughly enjoy payday. I don't have any bills I have to pay yet, is probably why. So let's see, what did I do today? I went to work with pretty friggin amazing people. I love my coworkers, they make working there not even feel like work you know? it's like I'm getting paid to have fun. I don't know if I could bear work without Tasia or Aaron being there. Aaron is quite the character. I came back to the cleaning room today and he was being his usual self making random noises and I asked him if he had a problem with quiet and he busted up and said that quiet did piss him off.

We joke around with each other alot. Like I came back today and I was like "Why didn't you tell me there wasn't any oranges back there? What is your problem?" and he just stares at me and goes "Sweetheart, I didn't know!"

Today he even made Kevin laugh because he just randomly started meowing. I repeat, he's a character.

Day 18: Wedding Planning= Stress and Headaches.

So yes, weddings are momentous occasions and are fun to plan but they also have a few downsides. For one, even though I have repeatedly told all catering companies that the wedding will not be until more than a year from now, I have not stopped getting emails and phone calls with people begging me to schedule a damn appointment with them and shit. I also just started the guest list and I'm already worried that some little asshat is going to give me shit for not inviting them. I know that there is going to be one person out there that I have only spoken two words to in my entire life that is going to be like "Why didn't you invite me?" and make me feel like a giant pile of shit for not inviting them. And then I have a whole hell load of photographers (NOT you, Epiphany or Hannie or Rowan, you guys are amazing) that are giving me shit and getting impatient because I haven't scheduled a sitdown with them to discuss prices about the engagement shoot. And then, I'm scared of even looking at dresses yet because I'm fat and I don't want to fall in love with a dress and not be able to wear it. And then there was also the fun of pairing the bridesmaids with the groomsmen. If even one bridesmaid complains about who they are paired with, I will find a new bridesmaid. Seriously. I picked you guys because you are the people who have been there the most for me and I love you the most. I think you can give me an entire minute that you have to walk down the aisle arm in arm with somebody you don't really know or care for. It's not like I'm asking you to make out with them. You just have to walk down the aisle holding their arm. That's it, son. If you can't give me that on my wedding day, you obviously weren't the person I thought you were. I'm not saying that any of you are going to complain, I'm just warning you in advance.

Day 17: Random Shit

So, I have alot of homework and shit I need to do and catch up on but of course, I'm being easily distracted by facebook and youtube. What's new right? I was also looking back through my old stories because a friend by the name of Miss Katieeeee, has given me a few photos I could use for my future Story covers, so now I'mma look all of my stories up and Picnik the hell out of them and see what I can do. :) Other than that I have nothing to really report. OH! I have a question, do you ever use words that make you sound smarter than you really are for that reason? I do. I have a collection of them: Haphazardly was the word of the day today. Everytime you use haphazardly EFFECTIVELY in a sentence, record it on a piece of paper and I will give you a cookie.

Day 16: Missions for the night.

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Day 15: Swearing is a necessary part of my life.

So, for all the people out there who are like my sister and think that it isn't necessary that I swear, let me tell you a few things. Shit is versatile. I can use it as a replacement for ANY word that I can't remember. Example from a real life shituation:
Max: What's on that pizza?
Erin: Some tomatos. Some shit and some other shit.
Max: Thanks. That helps.

See how helpful that was? If I didn't use a swear word, I would have been stuck opening and closing my mouth like a fish or some shit. I can also "not give a shit", "take a shit", "shoot the shit", "need to shit" and be "tired of your shit." What would I say if I don't use the word shit? Exactly.

And another thing, saying "fucking" does INDEED make me feel better after I hurt myself. And when someone has pissed me off, using the word "fucking" every other word does indeed take my stress level down a notch. I just need to have one big rant and I calm the fuck down afterwards.

And for those who are concerned for the well being of my future children, I will proud as fuck when my kids say "shit" or "fuck" for the first time. This is how that shit will go down:

Child: Fuck.
Me: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You were always my favorite. You get a cookie. Now, don't be saying that shit at school. I don't want a fucking phone call from your stupid shit teacher. Understand?

In other words, don't let me babysit your children

Day 14: Pissed as Fuck: The Erin Edition

So tonight I was extremely pissed and it takes alot to make me extremely mad. FOR SHIT. If you knew me in real life, you'd know I'm not quite as angry as my blogs give off. Anyhow, tonight I was sooooo pissed fucking off, that I could stop saying the word "fucking". I think I said the word "fucking" litterally every other word. I would tell you why I was pissed buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I'd rather you suffer because it brings me great joy. ANYHOW, I also laughed, cried, and discussed with Max where I was going to take my next shit.

Day 13: I wish I had Something Interesting to Tell You

But I really don't. The most exciting thing that happened to me today that I can mention to you in such a public fashion is that I made sixteen dollars in tips today. At 7:30 in the morning tomorrow the fianceeeeeeee is picking me up to go and get Brendan. I hope he can keep himself awake because I can never wake wake up until atleast twelve. I have work again tomorrow. 5-10. Then I'm off sunday. I think we are going to see Max's friend Steve and his gorgeous girlfriend Sarah but I never know what we're doing. Okay. That's really all I have to say tonight. Told you I had nothing interesting to tell you.

Day 12: Shut the hell up and Calm the Hell Down

I realize I missed a day. If you are going to start a big shit about it, realize that I was with Brendan all day. I only got home at 2 a.m in the morning and considering I woke up at 8 a.m, I was fucking tired as shit and I didn't have the energy it took for me to go over, pick up my laptop and turn it on, wait the fifteen fucking minutes it takes for it to load and then try to think of something funny and witty to tell you. So go ahead and start a big shit. Just realize that I have a mental disorder, I was born without the part of my brain that tells me to give a shit about anything you have to say about it. It's my blog, I make the rules and I say it's OdamnKay that I missed a day. I was watching a more important part of my life and making sure he slept just fine.

Day 11: It's a Damn Rant.

WARNING: So I have some shit I need to spew and if you don't want to read my trials and tribulations or are "OFFENDED" by swear words, please fucking skip this post.

First things first, it is my damn wedding right? Like I just want to get this straight because it's kind of confusing me. I mean, I love hearing my friends suggestions, so if you're reading this, don't assume that I'm ranting about you because that will probably piss me off more. If you are suggesting 'hey, i like this color'. That's fine, I like that you want to give me a helping hand or whatever. So if you gave me a helpful hint or two or three, this isn't about you. This is about certain people who have to be involved with fucking everything. Who won't leave me the hell alone about every little fucking detail of the wedding and are attempting to make it seem like I 'owe' them a spot in my wedding. I am fucking sick of being asked 34348325328517428731094839048325738957891738573859257883275238573285623483748 billion fucking questions every fucking five seconds about my plans. LET ME GIVE YOU AN UPDATE: NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS IN FIVE FUCKING SECONDS. And no. I truly don't give a shit about the colors you want. It is mine and Max's fucking wedding. We pick the colors. We pick the venue. We pick the everything. WE pick who gets invited and if certain people keep shit up, I'mma make sure they aren't invited. ONE LESS FUCKING mouth we have to pay to feed.


Now that I've got that out of my system I would like to bitch and rant about the "holier than thou" Christians out there shoving their religion down everybody's throat and insulting everyone who doesn't piss and shit to the bible. Now I am not saying all Christians are like this, I am very close friends to a bunch of Christians who are very devoted to their beliefs but are also open and don't go around damning people to hell because they believe differently. I live with a sister who is of the bible humping variety. Like if you even breathe the wrong way according to the bible, she gets up in your grill. THAT or she cries and throws a temper tantrum when you tell her you don't want to go to church with her. I'm sick to death of it because she gives me shit about swearing and then turns around and calls me a bitch. I hate hypocrites. With a fucking passion and my sister? The biggest.

Day 10: Thank God for the Internet.

So Max and I are already starting to plan our wedding. I figure if we start now we might actually be ready when the day gets here. So I was looking up caterers because I couldn't really find anyone that I liked so I found this website called weddingwire.com. Best site in the entire world. You can look up absolutely anything you need for a wedding: caterer, reception venue, band/dj, decorators, etc etc. And you can look for places close to your zipcode and each place has review written by people who actually used them and they rate their service. I am a stickler about it because this is going to be my one and only wedding. It better be damn perfect, you know? I don't want to be arguing with a company about what kind of cheese to use on my macaroni on my wedding day. So any catering service that had anything below a 4.0 out of 5.0 I pretty much instantly ruled out. I love the site. Thank god I'm a hermit and I'm in love with my laptop.

Day 9: Second Life: Creepy as shit

So secondlife.com is this online role playing thing where you download it for free and everything and one of my friends suggested to me so I tried it. DON'T PLAY IT. Apparently you can like 3D role play sex on it. And that's just wrong like really really wrong. The first thing that happens to me when I get on there is I get to over hear some guy telling a whole bunch of girls how he banged his best friend's mom or whatever. what the hell. And then some girl adds me as a friend and wants to show me a good time. I shit my pants. Okay? It was weird.

Day 8: Dehydration, 21 dollars and some damn good Mochi.

Well I'm forcing myself to drink a bottle of water before I go to sleep because I'm dehydrated on a big scale. Tonight I worked in dining room and I made some pretty sweet tips. The night went by pretty fast too. It was a pretty good day at work. No one pissed me off but I do have some interesting stories to share.

I work at a pizza buffet so no, you don't have to leave me a tip because all I do is take your dirty plates. I don't fill your cup or anything, you do it yourself. Even so, a few people like to leave tips anyway which is pretty sweet. So I'm cleaning off a table where someone had left me a two dollar tip and this lady walks up to me and asks if she has to leave a tip. And I said in the nicest tone ever. "No, you don't have to. But it is appreciated." This lady then proceeds to give me a look of utter disgust, pulls out a dollar bill, slams it on the table and marches out of the restaurant as if I had just told her that I was going to kill her first born child if she didn't leave me a tip.

Another interesting/creepy as fuck story I can share with you: I was cleaning the bathrooms. Something we have to do every night. We found blood in the men's sink. At first we thought it was just the drop like somebody had a nose bleed but no. Blood was on the mirror, all around the sink, over the handles. I don't know what the fuck happened up in there. But it was not a fucking nosebleed I can tell you that.

Somebody took a shadoobie on the toilet seat too. I don't understand how it's possible to shadoobs on the toilet seat. Like they are made so that you'd basically have to have an asshole the size of a small child in order to shadoobs on the seat.

Some quotes from tonight:
Tasia: Yeah, I saw some sausage balls up there just chillin on the floor.

Angel: Shut up. And when you're done shutting up, shut up again.

Angel: What's your problem, Aaron?
Aaron: I don't know.
Angel: Have you ever done drugs?
Aaron: No, I have never touched any drugs in my life.
Angel: That's what your problem is.

Day Seven: I'M ENGAGED! and first day on the job.

Yepppppp, Max popped the question! :) I didn't believe him at first. I thought he was trying to make me think he was proposing when he really wasn't and I basically told him to shut up. And then he asked me to marry him and I told him he didn't want to marry me. But then he said he did so I said yes. When he asked me to marry him I'm pretty sure my asshole imploded or something. My heart stopped. It was the strongest feeling I have ever had in my life. I love him.

First day on the job, since I don't know if certain friends of work are brown nosers and may follow my blog, I'mma just say it was hell on earth. WHY would you start someone in a restaurant on a FRIDAY???? WTF????

Day Six: Why do I have SO MUCH STUFF?!?!??!

So today I decided to go through all of my clothing and put everything I don't want/ I look like shit in/I look fat in/doesn't fit (either too big or too small) into a box to sell at a yard sale in the future. Going through every last article of clothing I own and trust me, I'm a woman, I own a fuckton of clothing, I only found like at most twenty things that actually fit me that I wanted to give away. I got rid of an entire boxload but most of it was ugly or fit me back when I was like fourteen and for some stupid reason I have hung onto it for this long. (don't ask me. I've probably got some kind of mild hoarding disease or something.) I felt bad about it. I even tried to put three more shirts in the box but then took them right back out convincing myself that since I had worn all three of them in the past six months, I ought to keep them. I have absolutely NO room for all my close in my drawers or closet. I stuffed all my drawers to the point of almost no longer opening and I've shoved as many things as I can in my closet without the pole falling down and I still have giant ass pile of clothing on the side of my room that I can't fit anywhere. I need my own place. And a new set of drawers obviously.

Anyway, I'm going to have a yardsale. And not only am I going to be selling a fuckload of clothing. I will be selling some stuffed animals, a shit ton of books I read and didn't deem worthy of keeping, purses because I have like eleven, jewelry, animal figurines that I collected for years, a fish tank (In GREAT shape complete with cuteeeeeeee rocks, a clarinet in mint condition, shooooooessssss galore, a pair of size 7 ice skates, dvds, cds, never been used binders and my body to anyone who is willing to pay a pretty penny. (I'm a pretty expensive whore. It's because I'm a ginger. We're a rare breed and we get a little fiesty in the bedroom.) If you would like to know more about this yardsale as I plan it and continue to force myself to let things go, just follow my blog, like me on facebook, shoot me a message and we'll talk, son.

Day Five: Ranting is Therapeutic.

Today, Erin rants and raves about a few topics. These topics will be:

• Librarians eating in the library
• People feeling the need to get involved with your relationships
• Dumb People
• College Midterms
• Bitches
• Creepers in the form of teenage girls
• and whatever the hell else I can come up with

First: Librarians eating  in the library
There is clearly a sign that says we are not allowed to eat in here. In fact, I have been yelled at for putting a piece of chocolate in my mouth.

The scene opens on me and my growling stomach, sitting at a computer trying to figure out why my homework looks wrong and of course, taking in my daily dose of facebook. Then the librarian walks in with Wendy's! FUCKING WENDY'S! I love Wendys! So now I'm even hungrier than I was before because you can smell fast food from a mile away. I think this is complete bullshit. If we aren't allowed to eat in here, your ass shouldn't be allowed either.

Second: People feeling the need to get involved with your relationships.
Have you ever noticed that when you are dating someone it never seems like you are just dating them? You have to date their family and their friends (sometimes douche bags). It's ridiculous. I am in a relationship with Maxwell and only Maxwell. I haven't met this bitch and I really don't want to. She feels the need to voice her dumbass opinion to him about anything he does with me. If Max wants to give me a promise ring, let him give me a promise ring. It's really none of your fucking business what he does. It's his life, get the fuck over it lady. You can't control him. And so he said that being with his Ex was anything but magical, welllllll does your STUPID ASS even KNOW what that fat bitchslutwhoreface put him through? Do you bother to ask? No.... SO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

Third: College Midterms (I have already covered stupid people I believe)
Why are they even necessary? And why do they come so quick? I feel like I have just barely started learning things in some of my classes and not learned anything at all in others (Macroeconomics. You sit through three hours of Professor Vilwock going off on his random tangents and tell me if you understand fucking anything about the economy afterwards) I only have one midterm though that I am aware of and that's in Speech on friday. Then I have to work that night. Next week is Spring Break though, which is pretty sweet. I have to watch Brendan by myself for the first time on the night of the ninth. I'm excited and nervous. Nervous because I've never really been alone with him before other than like when Max gets out of the car to get something and usually at that point in time, Brendan's asleep. I'm also excited for this reason too because Max and everyone else gets to spend more time with him than me becauase he likes them more.

Fourth: Bitches
They're everywhere. When I rule the world, I'mma make a law against bitchery punishable by death.

Fifth: Creepers in the form of teenage girls.
Alright, so I'm walking to the bathroom because I just finished my second bottle of water in thirty minutes and I need to take a pee, badly. And this chick walks in right behind me and then goes into the stall RIGHT BESIDE MINE when all of the other ones were empty. And then also gets out of her stall right after I do and takes the sink right beside mine too. WHAT THE FUCK??!?!??!?!!!?!!? It freaked me out. I wanted to punch her in the face.

Sixth: Whatever the hell I can come up with:

• I'm hungry
• I need to pee
• My hand has a cramp
• I wore sexy panties today and no one got to see them.
• I have writer's block
• My ass itches.

Day Four: Hey Professor Vilcowhatever, I did the homework, is it bad if I got it right but have no idea what I just did?

Hello faithful followers. I am very happy because I officially have ten of you! :) As you can tell by the title, I was doing some homework. The class in question was Macroeconomics. I know, just by hearing the name you can pretty much assume that I don't understand anything in it. I did the homework and it looked exactly like the example on the page but I have no idea what the hell I just did. My theory is if I got it right, I got it right. Who needs to understand the economy anyway? Certainly not a business major! (< insert heavy sarcasm here)

Well, this brings me to my next topic. Why does it seem like all college professors have to have weird and unpronouncable names? I have had a Diquatro, Villwock, some other weird V name. Like what the fuck. Why can't we just have a Professor Smith? Why can't the world be simple? Why can't I walk into class and be able to ask a question without worrying that I'm going to sound like an asshat when I call Professor Villwock, Professor "Villcovick". Is this the same as asking why the sky is blue?