Erin: "The cop would be so confused. We would pass every test. We would come up completely sober, no drugs would be found in the car and we'd be able to walk a straight line. I could just see them pulling us over though. He'd look in the window at us giggling like maniacs and he'd be like 'Excuse me, but what the FUCK is so goddamn funny'"
Tamara: And I'd say "your face".
Erin: I'm pretty sure I could throw him down a flight of stairs and he'd LAUGH.
Tamara: Owen wouldn't go to sleep.
Erin: Throw him against a wall.
(pardon me while I piss all over myself, that was even funnier the second time than the first. FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT PROMOTE CHILD ABUSE AT ALL. IT WAS GODDAMN JOKE CALM THE FUCK DOWN)
Erin: I blocked her. Ever since you told me that she tried to tell Cory you and I were going to run off and become lesbian lovers.
Tamara: *touches my knee*
Erin: OH NOW YOU'RE REALLY A LESBIAN! I'm going to tell Cory's mom you touched my kneecap sexually.
Tamara: Make sure you tell her I didn't use protection!
Erin: OH SHIT. I think I might be pregnant.
Tamara: Cory had the tv on and I couldn't sleep.
Erin: Why didn't you just beat the shit out of him until he turned it off?
Tamara: Because then I would have been on an adrenaline rush.
Erin: Then beat him up again.
(I do promote husband abuse. THEY NEED A TWICE WEEKLY BEATING. It's only healthy.)
Gosh I still feel sleep deprived and this is STILL funny as shit. xD
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