Day 370: :(

On my days off, Drew isn't off. So these next two days are going to be exciting ones chock full of me being stufk in my room. With my computer. Alone.

Day 369: BAHAHAHAHA.

My maturity levels are so high. About a week ago, I had exactly 69 fans and I almost didn't want anyone else to like my page just to keep it at 69.

Day 368: SO DAMN TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT

Title says it all.
I don't want to talk about it.

Day 367: OPENING A T-SHIRT SHOP

I figured since I've been doing this for a year for no monetary gain at all, it's time to start putting my genius to profit for myself. So, I'm teaming up with Tamara to design t-shirts with quotes from the blog on them. I put a question up on my facebook fanpage with my ideas for the different designs if you'd like to vote. :)

Day 366: Well this is weird.

It's been a year as of yesterday that I have been keeping this blog. It's kind of crazy to think that I have typed a blog everyday and I've decided to keep going, at least for one more year. Now, instead of getting to a year, I don't know what the new Milestones will be. Probably the 500th blogpost will be a pretty awesome moment. I'll only get to the thousandth blog if I keep it going for another year after this one. Which, I know myself, I love this blog like I gave physical birth to it. I couldn't get rid of it.

Honestly, up until October, you'll get to witness all of my wedding plans and etc. For my female readers that might be exciting. And I'll probably talk about the wedding for atleast a month after the wedding. Because I'm a girl and that's what girls do.

We'll see what's in store for us this year. I can't wait.

DAY 365: JESUS CHALUPA! I DID IT! I REALLY DID IT.

It's official. I have blogged every single damn day for a full damn year. I sung happy birthday to my blog! I had people send me birthday texts to tell my blog that it was growing up big and strong. I am so proud of myself. I am so proud of this year. I am so proud of my fanbase for getting the word around about my blog. I can't believe how much has happened in a year. So, it was hard to pick my absolute favorite thing that happened to me this year. I mean there was so much to chose from. I mean, so many LIFE CHANGING things that happened. HOW COULD I CHOOSE!!!?!!?!?!?!?!?!

Seriously guys? 

MY ENGAGEMENT was the best thing to happen to me!!!!!! 

I'm so happy to be spending the rest of my life with my best friend. :)

Day 364: HOLY SHIT JUST ONE DAY LEFT/The best things/people to happen to me this year.

Drew. Drew came back to me. And even though it was at the end of this year, it's still something that happened to me this year. He is my perfect fit. He's my better half. I'm only me when I'm with him. I couldn't pick a better person to spend the rest of my life with. I love him so much. He knows all the right words to say when I'm trying to be mad at him. He knows how to make me smile. No one else truly gets me like he does. And I feel more at home with his family than my own does. This is where I belong. In his arms. :) He's perfect. 

Day 363: The Best Things to Happen to Me this year: Day 3

This Blog! If I hadn't made the New Years Resolution to post a new blog every day for a year, I would have had no where to vent all of my pent up stress, no where to store all the crazy ass quotes from my car rides with Tamara. Nothing to keep myself entertained on my day off. This blog is amazing. My fans are amazing. And I'm so glad that I did this. Not a lot of people can say that they blogged every day for a full year. Maybe a month. But a full year??? Damn son...

Day 362: The Best Things/People to Happen to me this Year: Day 2

This crazy couple. Tamara and Cory Connatser. Though I've known Tamara longer than just this year, this year is where we developed into the best friends we are today. She has been there for me through all the ups downs. She's always patient with me even when it's the fifth time in the past three months that I think I might be pregnant. She reminds me to breathe when I forget to. She helps me see the brighter sides of things when I think all hope is lost. She always knows what to say to make me smile. She'd drop everything to get to me if I needed her. She answers her phone at all hours of the day. She hugs me when that's all I need. And she also popped out Owen and brought him into my life. Seeing how she and Cory are together makes me believe in love and keep faith. Cory would drop everything for me as well. And I love that I can have that relationship with him and no one feels stupidly jealous. It's nice having that older brother I never had when I was growing up. As long as they are around, I know that I will never truly be alone. I can only hope that one day I can have as happy a marriage as they do. Cory and Tamara make me believe in anything. 

Day 361: The Best Things/People to Happen to Me This Year

His name is Owen Scott Connatser. He is basically my life. He has taught me to love unconditionally better than anyone else ever could. He has taught me that I am loved, despite my faults. He has taught me that even when life gets tough, there's always a silver lining. He tells better jokes than the most successful comedian and he barely speaks. He can cheer me up with just a smile. And no matter how shittastical my life may seem, as soon as he wraps his arms around me, everything's okay again. I don't think I could ever love anyone as much as I love Owen. Maybe one day when I have my own children, but Owen will always hold a special place in my heart. 

Day 360: FIVE DAYS LEFT

And it will have been a year since I started this blog. This is so crazy, I feel like only yesterday I started this blog and a year has already passed. For each day, I will post about the best things to happen to me during this crazy year. Day one will begin tomorrow so stay tuned!

Day 359: Did something for myself for once today.

You know how I was telling you about that one friend I was considering cutting out of my life?? I did it. And I've never felt better in my life.

Day 358: First Friday Off

Since North Carolina but I don't count that because it was last minute. This is the first friday I have had off for NO reason, NO request since I started working at the casino. Not even kidding you.

I paid the speeding ticket, bought us a BRAND SPANKING NEW xbox360 with two games and also went to go and see The Secret World of Arrietty with the fiancee. It was amazing. Anything by Hayao Miyazaki is amazing. :) I still haven't seen Ponyo yet and it pisses me off so much.

The best part was me "narrating" the one character's voice after he offered Arrietty a berry:

"Here, accept these berries and please grant me entrance into your vagina."

I think Drew may have peed himself when I said that.

Day 357: Drew and I's first kiss

I don't remember the date. I don't remember the time. I don't remember what he was wearing. I remember the way he held me. I remember how it felt like our lips just fit together perfectly. It felt like I knew exactly what I was doing for once in my life. It felt true. It was the realest thing I'd ever felt in my life. It was perfect. Honestly and truly. No other kiss ever felt the same way.

Day 356: First Kiss(es)

So, there was a survey going around on youtube awhile ago, I was just going back through someone's videos and I found it. The first question was about your first kiss. Well, I thought I would do a blog on all my first kisses, that's the nice thing about kissing, whenever you're with someone new, it's a new experience. and don't you worry, there will be the whole gooey gross talk about my first kiss with Drew and all that "I knew it'd be him" jazz. AT THE END. or maybe the middle. or maybe in the next blog.

SO YOU HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE BLOG TO FIND OUT.

Now, the first time I was ever kissed by a boy was back in the beginning of my sophomore year. He was my first high school boyfriend. It wasn't a "real" boyfriend. There were no emotions in that relationship. At all. It was just the whole "let's be in a relationship because that makes us cool." and he was a junior, so that made me super cool. He was, at the time, one of my best friends, and he liked me, but I didn't like him. Not that way, but I didn't want to not give him a chance, so I did, but I couldn't get over the creepiness of him being like family. He went to kiss me in the hallway before class, and I legitimately DODGED IT, and he kissed my cheek. And I had to wipe slobber off of my face. We broke up the next day.

Now, my first real boyfriend was my Junior year in High school and we ended up dating for almost two years.    He was my first real kiss. And the first time he kissed me was in transition between classes. When we started dating, we had four classes in a row together, it was right after the fourth class where we'd go our separate ways, he bent down (because I'm like five foot nothing and shorter than fucking everyone) and kissed my cheek and I just stared at him because I didn't even understand what happened. The first time he kiss kissed me was right after he took me to see some sappy romance movie, he kissed me and I just sat there and didn't even react. I didn't know how. I'd never been kissed before. So I'd imagine as a first kiss, I basically sucked. haha

It's pretty awful, but I can't remember Nick and I's first kiss. And I almost dated that kid for a full year. He was the humongous part of my life and I can't even recall that first kiss. I remember the first I love you, the first fight, the first school dance, the first gift he gave me and practically every other thing that happened, but I can't pull the first kiss from my memory. DAMN SON. Nor can I remember Chris's. I don't think it's because they weren't special, I think maybe I've spent so much time trying to forget everything about both of them that I've erased those memories.

I do remember my first kiss with Ryan. It was up in his bedroom, when I told him that was the whole thing holding me back from getting over the fact that he'd been my best friend since ninth grade, that we hadn't kissed. And we hadn't kissed because I was afraid it would change everything about our friendship and the close relationship we had before we decided to take it to the next level. Guess what? We no longer speak. Guess I was right all along, huh?

I can't remember much about my first kiss with Max. I have a feeling it was on New Years Night, back when my parents were still super strict about the getting home before midnight thing. And it was wet. And I'm pretty sure our lips touched. Yup, pretty sure I just spent a hell load of time trying to forget.

DREW. I remember everything about Drew. But I don't think you realllllllllllllllllllly wanna know about him. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. ;)

Day 355: My favorite Youtubers

Since I have nothing better to post, here is a list of my favorite youtubers. You should check them out.

• Ryan Higa (NigaHiga)
• JPMetz
• Jenna Marbles
• My Drunk Kitchen
• Epic Meal Time
• Dan is not on fire
• Amazing Phil
• MrArturoTrejo
• Shaytards
• Chester See
• Wong Fu Productions
• The Jessika Show
• LivelavaLive
• Nanalew
• Meekakitty
• Kylenexusone
• 13evilshennigans TYLER TARVER IS AMAZING
• The NiveNulls
• Epoddle
• Barely political
• What the Buck Show
• ArielleIsHamming
• Brocks Dubs
• Egoraptor

Day 354: People don't make any sense

How can someone tell you one day that they want nothing to do with someone anymore, that they think that person is cheating on them and etc, and then the next day they are sooooooooooooo in love again. People will never do anything that makes any sense.

Day 353: Cutting someone from your life.

Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life because you knew that it was what was best for you? What about if it wasn't the best for them? Why is it so hard? I've done this before. I guilt myself into staying though or going back as soon as they reach out to me. This time, though, I am done with this person's bullshit. I have put up with it for way too long and I can't stay. I can't. I CAN'T.

I mean, this person hasn't even met my fiancee yet and I have no interest at all in introducing them, in an effort to protect him from the awful head games they perform.

This person only wants me around when she needs someone, but I'm never important any other time. Then when I point out that that is exactly what she's doing, she makes ME feel guilty for it. I don't want to be stuck in this never ending circle of lies and stupidity.

It's gaining the strength to say the words "goodbye" that is causing me to stay.

Day 352: I just want to be happy

So, once again, even after attempting to stand up for myself for once, I just let this other person have their own fucking way again. I always do this. I wish I cared more about myself. I think that's the main root of my problems. I always put everyone else first, no matter whether or not it's going to cause a problem for me. I keep saying that this is the last time. And it never is.

Day 351: I'm sincerely tired of being everyone's doormat.

I have spent my entire life just letting everyone else take what they want and need from me because I care far more for everyone else than I do for myself. I'm tired of it and I am putting an end to it immediately because in the end, all I'm getting is hurt.

Day 350: How to keep your husband from cheating: THE SECRET TO EVERYTHING

Blow jobs
Blow jobs
Blow Jobs
BLOW JOBS
and don't make him ask.
OFFER IT.

They don't even know what the hell to do then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9So7QifT3I&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

For more, reference the video above

Day 349: HOLY PISS

I ordered shirts from district lines IN NOVEMBER. I only just received them today. HOW THE FUCK. DOES THAT HAPPEN. When I asked them to give me my money back, they responded by politely telling me to shut the fuck up and gave me a ten dollar gift card. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO ORDER FROM YOU AGAIN??!?!?!

Day 348: Mrs.

It has a nice ring to it. So today, I changed my name on facebook. No, this does not mean that we are getting married anytime soon. As most people know, I have quite the past. I have a lot of people that I really do not want contacting me in anyway shape or form. I have had to block almost every single member of their families and anyone they come into contact with because they keep attempting to find ways to contact me. I have changed my name so that I will no longer be so easy to find. I have not closed my facebook off to friend requests entirely because I'm sure that I will make new friends when I go to the next job or whatever. There are constantly new people being hired into the casino and I want my new friends to still be able to find me. That's why I have kept it open. But unless you know my (future) husband's last name, which most of them are still under the impression that I am marrying Max, you will not be able to find me unless I tell you. So I will be unfindable to all but those who I want finding me.

Day 347: Name change??!?!?!?

Like it? Don't like it?

Day 346: I'm only me when I'm with you.

So, I got to see my Drew today, and we hung out basically all day. We wanted to go see Chronicle after I got off work but the earliest showing was at one. We went out to breakfast like we do every weekend. And I took him to Michael's and we talked about the wedding some more and he wants to do wax seals on the invitations. :)

He also made me bawl with a voicemail he left on my phone.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, we had been arguing a lot which made me feel like shit and then the rest of my week continued to be shitfuckintastical. Well, he left me a voicemail telling me that he was leaving his job to come and see me right away because he missed me so much. And must've said he loved me atleast ten times. I couldn't stop smiling the rest of my shift.

He's perfect.

Day 345: was SUPPOSED TO see Drew today

But didn't... :( But I DID, go out with Tamara which always cheers me up. Because she's Tamara and she's the shit.

Day 344: WHAT IS IT WITH THIS WEEK????

I'm just having a shit week. It's only gone from bad to worse. UGH.

Day 343: Worried about everything

This week started off shitastical. Drew and I bickered like an old married couple on monday about the wedding, about moving, about money and about money and about money and about money and about money. And then we argued about who's fault everything is. This is what makes it obvious that we're meant to be together. If you ever catch us in an argument, we sound like we've been married forty years.

It was always like that. ;)

But today, I was worried about everyone. My sister called this morning bawling about the car making weird noises and not letting her go more than 20 mph. So then I was worried about her. And I've been worried about Drew because lately his uncle's been working his ass off.

I swear if they made worrying a sport, I'd be the world champion.

Day 342: This week is seriously from hell, I swear it.

Everything has gotten worse each day.
I can't see anything looking up yet.