DAY 30: Billie Jean is not my lover

Erin's dating tips for whoever actually gives a fuck:

1. Don't cling, for the LOVE OF GOD.

2. Talk to each other, communicate, dipshit. If you are angry at him, fucking TELL HIM. and then tell him why. He can't figure out what the hell you want him not to do anymore if you don't tell him what he did wrong the first time. You have to realize, guys are stupid. And I'm not insulting them because they all know they're stupid. They can't figure out what they did wrong unless you tell them. Giving him the silent treatment gets you nowhere and just further pisses him off. TALK.

3. In regards to the above, never ever leave the room/go to bed/get off the phone angry. It'll kill you in the long run. It's better and healthier for you two to scream it out than for you to stomp off in opposite directions. Relationships are built on communication.

4. Realize that you are going to have fights and there are going to sometimes be bad ones. Every healthy couple yells at each other. It's proof you give a shit.

5. Don't talk about marriage. Unless he does first. It scares them away.

6. Try not to pop the "L" bomb too quickly. Another thing that frightens them.

7. Don't insult him. Try not to call him stupid when you're mad. Guys are more senisitive than women about these things. They just don't show it because they are supposed to be the strong, tearless, muscular things in the relationships. Stroke his ego. OFTEN. They love to hear that they are hot/sexy/sweet/handsome/nice/perfect just as much as you do. Also make sure you let him know how much you appreciate the little things he does as well.

8. Don't give him some horrible pet name that makes his manhood go into hiding in his b-hole. "Pookiesnookiefluffybearycake" is a GIANT NO NO. Now he wants to be your "baby", he wants to be "babe". And you are allowed to call him those in public. "honey" and any inside nicknames are alright to be calling him as well but better in a private setting. DON'T EMBARASS HIM in front of his friends. It's a very bad idea. And it'll piss him off something crazy.

9. Don't believe all the stupid fuck they put in Cosmo. The sex shit, yeah, that stuff you can trust. But don't take their advice on your relationship. If you go and flirt with another guy at a bar (or a school dance since a bunch of my followers are high schoolers) it's not going to make him "appreciate you more" its going to make him punch the guy in the face and call you a skank. that being said. DON'T FLIRT WITH OTHER GUYS. Remember that "stroking the ego" thing we talked about? Flirting with another guy is the exact OPPOSITE of that.

10. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever hold a grudge about anything. Especially stupid stuff (which if you have a good relationship, all of your fights are going to be about stupid shit.) don't bring up stuff from previous fights either.

11. Don't put yourself down. It's a total mood killer. Confidence is sexy. Now I'm not saying go around wearing shorts that barely cover your vagina and wear a pushup bra that makes your cleavage touch your chin. I'm saying don't insult yourself. But don't be like "I know, son." when he tells you he thinks you're pretty. Because that's not confidence that's bitchery.

12. Now, the physical aspect of a relationship is important too. Especially when we are speaking about the men. Now, I know there are hardcore christians out there who believe in abstinence and trust me I respect that. I'm still a virgin as well. With men though, they have to feel wanted. You have to kiss them often. I'm not telling you to jump in the sack with him but you have to have atleast some level of intimacy after awhile. It's a way of showing you love him. If you have the right person, he'll wait until you're married to have sex with you. He'll wait until you're ready but in the meantime, you should show him that you do think he's irresistable. I'm not giving you tips on how to do this because this entire paragraph made me feel awkward enough.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment. I promise I won't answer them.