Day 301: Reasons Why You May Get Deleted.

So, I'm going on a mass deletion on my friends on facebook. I am going through a rough time right now, and I don't particularly care anymore. I've had my final straw with the bullshit and I'm now deleting the bullshit from my news feed. There are a couple different reasons you could get deleted. I have been deleting people subtly for about a week now. Here are the reasons I am deleting people in no order:

1.) You pop up in my news feed and I don't know who the fuck you are or how we became friends, I have been known to go on drunken "add friend" binges where I suddenly get three million notifications about "accepted friend requests" I don't ever remember making.

2.) You only ever added me because you were hoping to get into my pants and are now harassing me via my facebook because you're pissed because I'm with someone who wants me for more than just my veej.

3.) You pop in my news feed and I read whatever bullshit you posted and I say aloud "NO ONE GIVES A SHIT". This is directed towards people who post about making a fucking sandwhich, then post about the shit they are taking and then post about going out with their friends. It's a bunch of hohum stupid shit every five minutes. I don't need to know every minute of your stupid life.

4.) You post about drugs frequently. I feel no need to associate myself with the scum of the earth, thanks.

5.) Your relationship status changes every two fucking days.

6.) You're a raging whoresorus Rex. And I'm honestly afraid that if you breathed on me, I'd catch all forty seven STDs you have.

7.) You have that stupid ass new facebook layout that pisses my laptop off and I don't give enough of a shit about you to deal with the thirty damn minutes it takes for my laptop to load your fucking page.

8.) I frequently have to delete your comments from my statuses because you're always being an asswad and I'm tired of dealing with your bullshit.

9.) I don't trust that you aren't involved in this horror story shit that's going on at the high school. I see no reason to keep a bunch of people with psychotic murderous tendencies on my facebook.

10.)  You're a teenage mother who doesn't have a single picture of her baby on her facebook and I see only statuses about you going out and partying or your goddamn boy drama than taking care of your baby. I hate hate hate women who do this. You should have given your child up to someone who actually wanted them. You disgust me, you piece of trash. Everything you post makes me hate you more.

11.) You're a bitch. If all your statuses are about how you think you're the hottest fucking piece of shit out there and demeaning people for being fat or "ugly", I'm deleting you. You're the ugly one. Beauty isn't what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside. And you know what you look like on the inside? A BIG STEAMING PILE OF SHIT. Go fuck yourself since you think you're so fucking amazing.

12.) All your statuses are all "woe is me" and depressing when it's about some fucking breakup or your parents won't let you out past your fucking curfew, THERE ARE FAR WORSE THINGS. Your parents aren't beating you. And your Ex boyfriend was probably fucking someone behind your back, you're better off. So quit crying about it all over your fucking facebook.

13.) You lie.

14.) Your very existance pisses me off.

15.) All of your pictures have your tits hanging out so much that I can practically see your nipples. Or your version of shorts is anything that covers your veej. Anything longer than that you refer to as "pants".



You could also be multiple things at once. If you get deleted, one of these is the reasons why. I no longer want contact with you. Don't add me back until you've actually got your shit in order.