Warning: This blog is probably going to be inspirational. If you can't handle that coming from overly sarcastic Erin Howie, then you should probably peace the fuck out, bro.
So, I get asked by alot of people how I made it through all the shit I've been through. People who have been through even half the shit I have tend to usually either end up killing themselves or killing the people causing them pain. When I'm asked how I did it? It's pretty simple. To go through what I went through sounds like pure torture. And it was. Every last minute of it. But that's not what matters. When Prisoners of War get tortured, do they give up the location of the rest of their platoon? No. Unless they are pussies. No, they endure it with a "you might as well kill me because I ain't telling you shit, bitch" attitude. And the fact that you won't speak, pisses them off enough to keep you alive long enough for someone to rescue you.
The fact that I've been through all the shit that I have been through is honestly what has shaped me to be the person I am today. I can take a lot of shit without breaking. I'm probably one of the most loving people you will ever meet because I've had to love people despite what I've been put through. Some people have no one else to love them. Unfortunately, this will always be my biggest downfall.
I have also learned to spot the bad in people before I risk throwing myself into another shitty situation. Which has probably saved me from alot more trouble than had I not been through what I've been through.
Also, I have developed deeper relationships with people that I choose to let all the way in. I have learned things about myself that I would have never learned had I not been through all of this. Such as this, I don't trust men very easily. I have learned that I seem to have this underlying thought that I think they pretend to be your friend until they get what they want from you and then they will up and leave like you never meant a thing at all. Now, the men who I do let in, can consider themselves lucky because I'm not one to open up.
I also, am someone anyone can come to, because whatever you may have gone through you can trust that I won't judge you, because I've probably been through a lot worse and people judged me and still do. Including my own family.
That which does not kill us can only make us stronger.
I am stronger.
I am strong.
I always have been and I always will be.
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